This is going to sound silly, but when I was young I never thought I'd get so old, so fast.
Meg is going to be 15 next month. I can't believe that this smart, amazing person is my daughter, the same girl as the tiny baby I used to nurse, the toddler I taught to walk, the little girl who used to sit still so I could braid her hair. Now she's pestering me for an iphone (why, I don't know- she knows I'll never be able to afford one for her), and talking about learning to drive.
It's bringing up a lot of strange stuff that I didn't think I'd have to worry about so soon.
I had Meg when I was only 19 years old. I was going to community college, which might not sound like much, but I was the first in generations of my family to make it that far. I was so proud. I was studying economics. And then I got pregnant.
When we found out I was pregnant, my ex-husband and I got married. We were very in love then, strange as it is to think about now. I still miss those days sometimes. We were so utterly wrong for each other but we didn't know it yet. I had to drop out of school- couldn't afford to pay for college and the baby, and the baby won out. He dropped out too, in order to work full time. We always imagined we'd be going back to college someday.
I love my daughters very much. They're both wonderful, amazing people, and I'm so thrilled to see them grow up the way they are. But as Meg gets into her teen years, I'm starting to worry about her. We don't always see eye to eye, and she's always been a little wild. I'm terrified that she'll make the same mistake that I did- not to say that having her was a mistake, but getting pregnant so young...
I'm not sure how to sit down and have this talk with her, but I do think it's important. She hit puberty this year and I'm sure she thinks about boys all the time, and I'd better get this over with before it's too late. I just want what's best for her. I want her to go to college and get a degree, and become everything she's dreamed of being. She's so smart, she'll go so far. Farther than I ever got.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Bellevue
...was a dream. Of course, I forgot to bring my camera, but the tour was just fantastic. No sign of rain and it wasn't too hot, and Paula and I ended up with a really informative tour guide who also kept cracking really terrible puns about flowers. Lunch was great too- we ate at a little streetside cafe, which coincidentally also had some lovely roses twining around the railing of the patio. I had a great meal- one of the best chicken and avocado sandwiches I've ever had! It was so much fun to have a day in the city, with a good friend and no pressure.
When I got home I had a long chat with Ellie on the phone, and she brought me up to date on everything happening in her neck of the woods. Her pregnancy's going well and her husband Aaron might be getting a promotion. And with the girls both over their colds, I feel like things are going better than they have in a long time, knock wood. Maybe I can even get a raise at work- as if that'd ever happen.
The only real dark spot recently is that my car's in need of some servicing, after that trip out to Bellevue, and I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to afford it. I guess it might be slim pickings around here for a few weeks, but I think we can manage if I just cook a little bit more instead of ordering takeout. I hate cooking and I rarely have the time, but maybe I can coerce Meg into making dinner a few times a week. Annie's pretty good about setting and clearing the table, and usually Meg helps me with the dishes, but it wouldn't kill her to help out around the house a little more. Annie too, for that matter- they've got a wide-open summer, and they should be able to help out a little. Maybe if I can work a little longer during the summer, I can save up enough for another little vacation, this time with all three of us. I'd like to take the girls into Seattle sometime, I know they'd both love it, especially the Seattle Aquarium...hmm. Think I'll keep that in mind in case that raise comes in.
When I got home I had a long chat with Ellie on the phone, and she brought me up to date on everything happening in her neck of the woods. Her pregnancy's going well and her husband Aaron might be getting a promotion. And with the girls both over their colds, I feel like things are going better than they have in a long time, knock wood. Maybe I can even get a raise at work- as if that'd ever happen.
The only real dark spot recently is that my car's in need of some servicing, after that trip out to Bellevue, and I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to afford it. I guess it might be slim pickings around here for a few weeks, but I think we can manage if I just cook a little bit more instead of ordering takeout. I hate cooking and I rarely have the time, but maybe I can coerce Meg into making dinner a few times a week. Annie's pretty good about setting and clearing the table, and usually Meg helps me with the dishes, but it wouldn't kill her to help out around the house a little more. Annie too, for that matter- they've got a wide-open summer, and they should be able to help out a little. Maybe if I can work a little longer during the summer, I can save up enough for another little vacation, this time with all three of us. I'd like to take the girls into Seattle sometime, I know they'd both love it, especially the Seattle Aquarium...hmm. Think I'll keep that in mind in case that raise comes in.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Finally.
Meg's mostly over her cold now, and Annie's getting better. I actuallly might have avoided it myself, knock on wood.
For once I'm actually glad the girls will be gone this weekend, because a co-worker and I are going to drive into Bellevue and get lunch, and then go to the botanic garden. They have a guided tour on weekends, and we're both plant lovers. And in case Meg gets it into her head to check this site, no, it is definitely not a date. This is my friend Paula, who's another secretary at my work.
It'll be nice to get out of Pine Hill for a while, even if it is a long drive. I haven't been on anything even resembling a vacation since Christmas, when we flew to Reno to visit Ellie and her husband. This time it's only a day trip, but it'll be fun. I want to get some potted plants for the balcony before it gets too warm to grow them properly- maybe some sweet peas or marigolds. I used to love gardening- well, still do I suppose, I just don't get much of a chance to do it because we live in a second story apartment. There's not much room for potted plants and of course there's no yard.
I'd ask the girls to come along, of course, but neither of them have really inherited my interst in plants, so they'd both be very bored. And apparently Annie’s made a little friend in her father’s apartment complex, so she’s very excited about seeing her again. I wish I could meet this girl’s parents, because I’m not sure if I trust their dad to make all of the right decisions concerning their friends…I’d ask that he keep them both over at his apartment, but after last week I’m not sure he wouldn’t do the opposite just to spite me.
Oh, that’s him at the door. Better close this window.
For once I'm actually glad the girls will be gone this weekend, because a co-worker and I are going to drive into Bellevue and get lunch, and then go to the botanic garden. They have a guided tour on weekends, and we're both plant lovers. And in case Meg gets it into her head to check this site, no, it is definitely not a date. This is my friend Paula, who's another secretary at my work.
It'll be nice to get out of Pine Hill for a while, even if it is a long drive. I haven't been on anything even resembling a vacation since Christmas, when we flew to Reno to visit Ellie and her husband. This time it's only a day trip, but it'll be fun. I want to get some potted plants for the balcony before it gets too warm to grow them properly- maybe some sweet peas or marigolds. I used to love gardening- well, still do I suppose, I just don't get much of a chance to do it because we live in a second story apartment. There's not much room for potted plants and of course there's no yard.
I'd ask the girls to come along, of course, but neither of them have really inherited my interst in plants, so they'd both be very bored. And apparently Annie’s made a little friend in her father’s apartment complex, so she’s very excited about seeing her again. I wish I could meet this girl’s parents, because I’m not sure if I trust their dad to make all of the right decisions concerning their friends…I’d ask that he keep them both over at his apartment, but after last week I’m not sure he wouldn’t do the opposite just to spite me.
Oh, that’s him at the door. Better close this window.
Monday, June 13, 2011
I knew it.
Despite my protests, the kids did end up staying with their father over the weekend...we had a fight about it, the first one in a few years actually. Usually we barely talk when he comes to pick them up and drop them off.
In any case, I finally gave up and let them go with him. I shouldn't have done it. Meg came back a little better but now Annie's caught her cold, and she's got it worse than Meg...I had to move Meg to my room last night because Annie was coughing so hard. Meg was the only one who got any sleep. Poor Annie looks like she's been drugged, today. She finally fell asleep on the couch, and I don't want to move her in case she wakes up...
I asked Meg if they stayed up late at their father's place, and she evaded the question. Can you believe that? I didn't even press the question because I was so stunned. Meg's always been a little bit wild, but it just hurts that she would side with him against me.
In any case, I did manage to get Meg's approval on one thing- she found a box of clothes I used to wear when I was in high school, and apparently I was fashionable back then. She brought it up to me so excited about borrowing my old skirts and t-shirts...it's so strange to think that she's old enough to fit into that stuff. She's growing up so fast, and it makes my head spin. I was still just a kid when I had her, and seeing her reaching the end of middle school and trying on that ridiculous Slayer shirt I was wearing right around the time I got pregant with her...it's so strange. I'm so proud of my little girl, but I'm still getting used to the fact that she's not very little anymore.
Being a mom is strange.
In any case, I finally gave up and let them go with him. I shouldn't have done it. Meg came back a little better but now Annie's caught her cold, and she's got it worse than Meg...I had to move Meg to my room last night because Annie was coughing so hard. Meg was the only one who got any sleep. Poor Annie looks like she's been drugged, today. She finally fell asleep on the couch, and I don't want to move her in case she wakes up...
I asked Meg if they stayed up late at their father's place, and she evaded the question. Can you believe that? I didn't even press the question because I was so stunned. Meg's always been a little bit wild, but it just hurts that she would side with him against me.
In any case, I did manage to get Meg's approval on one thing- she found a box of clothes I used to wear when I was in high school, and apparently I was fashionable back then. She brought it up to me so excited about borrowing my old skirts and t-shirts...it's so strange to think that she's old enough to fit into that stuff. She's growing up so fast, and it makes my head spin. I was still just a kid when I had her, and seeing her reaching the end of middle school and trying on that ridiculous Slayer shirt I was wearing right around the time I got pregant with her...it's so strange. I'm so proud of my little girl, but I'm still getting used to the fact that she's not very little anymore.
Being a mom is strange.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Perfect timing
It was bound to happen, I suppose...Meg's caught a summer cold. She's got a fever and she's been sneezing and coughing. I am glad that it happened after she got out of school, but now she's lying around the house sick, and any parents out there will know how difficult it is to take good care of a sick child. Especially because her sister is still healthy, and demanding entertainment.
One thing's for certain, they won't be going to their father's house tonight. He's no good with doctors and medicine. He forgets everything. And he never gets them to bed on time. It's amazing how childish he can be...
I'm rambling again. Time to go see if I can get off work tomorrow. I doubt it. *sigh*
One thing's for certain, they won't be going to their father's house tonight. He's no good with doctors and medicine. He forgets everything. And he never gets them to bed on time. It's amazing how childish he can be...
I'm rambling again. Time to go see if I can get off work tomorrow. I doubt it. *sigh*
Sunday, June 5, 2011
A moment of free time
The girls are over at their father’s house, so I suppose I’d better do my weekly post now. At least with them at his house every weekend, I have time to clean the apartment and get some laundry done, and maybe even a few minutes to myself. After all these years it’s gotten to be sort of a routine. Currently I’m sitting in front of the computer with a Seagrams and Seven in hand, emailing my sister Ellie to catch up. She’s the baby of the family, Ellie is – five years younger than me, just married a guy in Reno two years ago and now she’s expecting her first child. I’m glad she didn’t follow my example, or Jen’s. Jen is my other sister, the middle sister. She’s been out of contact with me since I divorced my ex-husband. She always was a little too religious for her own good.
It’s funny how I fall into talking about my sisters. I meant to talk about my day, but the mind wanders. Who’d think that at 33 I’d be feeling so old?
The girls should be back in about half an hour, so that I can put Annie to bed on time. They just got out of school, and that means their bedtimes have moved back half an hour. Of course Meg’s at that age where she’s complaining about having a set bedtime at all, but I’m going to stay firm. God knows their father doesn’t enforce enough rules. I just know he’s going to be late again. He’s had them every weekend for almost ten years now, and the man has not once been on time to drop them off.
I’d better finish this entry, and finish telling Ellie my horror stories about pregnancy! Ha, I kid. Both girls were relatively easy to carry, although Annie was such a huge baby. It’s amazing she’s so small now! Ellie is apparently going to have a girl as well, maybe it’s the family curse (or blessing).
I’m all over the place in this entry. I hope I can get the hang of this blogging thing so that Meg doesn’t try to teach me. Until next time.
It’s funny how I fall into talking about my sisters. I meant to talk about my day, but the mind wanders. Who’d think that at 33 I’d be feeling so old?
The girls should be back in about half an hour, so that I can put Annie to bed on time. They just got out of school, and that means their bedtimes have moved back half an hour. Of course Meg’s at that age where she’s complaining about having a set bedtime at all, but I’m going to stay firm. God knows their father doesn’t enforce enough rules. I just know he’s going to be late again. He’s had them every weekend for almost ten years now, and the man has not once been on time to drop them off.
I’d better finish this entry, and finish telling Ellie my horror stories about pregnancy! Ha, I kid. Both girls were relatively easy to carry, although Annie was such a huge baby. It’s amazing she’s so small now! Ellie is apparently going to have a girl as well, maybe it’s the family curse (or blessing).
I’m all over the place in this entry. I hope I can get the hang of this blogging thing so that Meg doesn’t try to teach me. Until next time.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Well, like the title says...
...fair's fair. For some reason my daughter has been after me to start a blog, so when we were playing poker last night, I said I'd start one if she beat me. Of course she did, and of course she didn't forget the bet! I don't understand why she's so excited about this, actually. She set it up right after she got home from school, and when I got home from work she wouldn't rest until I posted, so...here I am.
For any readers, which I doubt I'll ever get, my name is Deb. I'm a 33 year old mother of two beautiful little girls. Meg, my oldest, is 14. She made the blog. Annie, who is 10, is my other daughter. They're both looking over my shoulder and Meggie's protesting that she's not little anymore. Sorry hon, you'll always be my little girl.
The bet was that I had to keep posting in this at least once a week, so I'll try and keep up. My job has long hours, though, so Meg, you'll have to forgive me if I can't make it stick. Work comes first, but you know that already.
Well I guess that's my duty done, I'll be posting next week I suppose. Until then!
For any readers, which I doubt I'll ever get, my name is Deb. I'm a 33 year old mother of two beautiful little girls. Meg, my oldest, is 14. She made the blog. Annie, who is 10, is my other daughter. They're both looking over my shoulder and Meggie's protesting that she's not little anymore. Sorry hon, you'll always be my little girl.
The bet was that I had to keep posting in this at least once a week, so I'll try and keep up. My job has long hours, though, so Meg, you'll have to forgive me if I can't make it stick. Work comes first, but you know that already.
Well I guess that's my duty done, I'll be posting next week I suppose. Until then!
Look what i made you Mom
i didn't forget about the bet at all Mom! Now you have to post in it! It's really easy and i'll show you how. Hope you like it!!
-Megg
-Megg
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